Morticom funny and unusual stories of suicides

TRUE STORIES

SUICIDES

(19 Entries)

1)
In Gerona, Spain, Mr. Abel Ruiz, who had recently been dumped by his fiancee, decide to take his own life. First he threw himself in front of an express train, but the train just passed over him and he sustained only minor cuts and bruises.
Next he threw himself in front of a passing lorry but again it didn't go as he planned and he was treated for only minor bruises. The staff at the hospital were so concerned about the man's well being that they called in a priest to show Ruiz the error of his ways.
After deciding that it was best to start a new life he left the hospital and was accidentally knocked down by a runaway horse. He had to be admitted back into hospital with serious injuries.

2)
In Virginia, USA, Park Ranger Roy C. Sullivan, was struck by lightning on no fewer than seven occasions between 1942 and 1977. The only injuries he received was the loss of a toenail and his eyebrows.
Having survived all those times being hit he eventually committed suicide in 1983 when he was spurned by a woman.

3)
On any given day about 1000 people commit suicide, the most common day being a Monday.

4)
On average three times more men commit suicide than women. On the other hand three times more women attempt suicide than men.

5)
In China, during the 16th century, many people committed suicide by eating a pound of salt.

6)
In Bartow, Florida, USA, in September 1995, Edward Hand, aged 33, was jilted by his girlfriend when she decided to return to her husband.
Edward decided to have a showdown with the couple and when he arrived at their home he put a gun to his chin and shot himself.
Unfortunately the bullet bounced off his teeth, exited from his right cheek, flew across the room and hit the husband in the head, killing him instantly.
Edward was subsequently charged with manslaughter, third degree murder, kidnapping and assault.

7)
In Syria, 35 year old fish merchant, Najib Saddi, killed himself because he was happy. He explained in a suicide note that "I am perfectly happy but I am fearful of future unhappiness and I want to quit while I'm ahead!"

8)
In Poland, Mr Krystof Azninski and his friends decided to have some fun after a heavy drinking session. They all stripped naked and began to hit each other over the heads with some frozen swedes. One of the men then grabbed a chainsaw and accidentally cut off his own foot.
Not to be outdone by this, Azninski grabbed the chainsaw and shouted, "Watch this!" and then chopped his own head off!"

9)
In Lithuania, in 2001, Mr. Habil Berenis decided to commit suicide by shooting himself, even though he didn't own a gun.
He had a bullet, however, so he came up with the brilliant plan of standing the bullet upright in a frying pan, turning the heat on full and then leaning his head over the frying pan and shutting his eyes.
After what seemed an eternity, Habil fell asleep with his mouth open but was woken up when he heard a loud bang and felt a pain in his cheek.
When the bullet had finally detonated it went into his open mouth and exited through his cheek, missing all his vital organs.
Berenis later stated, "Apparently, I'm lucky to be alive!"

10)
A 40-year-old chancer lost a life-or-death gamble when he hurled himself off a suspension bridge connecting Ohio and Kentucky. Boastful Charles Woods was spotted taking bets from pals on whether he could survive a jump from the bridge. His rotting remains were finally washed up on the Kentucky side of the river four months later.

11)
In Madrid, Spain, in 1978, Mr Abul Ruiz decided to kill himself after being dumped by his fiancee.
First he decided to leap in front of a train only to land between the rails, the train rolling over him harmlessly.
After getting treatment at hospital for some minor injuries he immediately went into the street and threw himself in front of a lorry, but again he escaped with only very minor cuts and bruises.
Finally after leaving the hospital for the second time he decided that it wasn't right to kill himself and, crossing the road, he was instantly trampled by a runaway horse.
Although he suffered very serious injuries Ruis survived even this!

12)
In Belgrade, Serbia, Mr Janos Revic decided to end his life after his girlfriend dumped him.
The bank clerk stole a car and tried to crash it at speed into a tree but the vehicle broke down.
He then stole another car but he couldn't get it up to speed and only managed to dent the bumper.
Upon being arrested for car theft he pulled a dagger out and plunged it into his own chest but he fully recovered from this and was later sentenced to a year in prison.
While being led to his prison cell he then jumped through a window and fell 25 feet onto the road below but he landed totally unhurt in a massive snowdrift!

13)
In Taiwan, in 1999, newly-weds Huang Pin-jen, aged 27, and Chang Shu-mei, aged 26, decided to make a suicide pact after both of their parents refused to bless their marriage.
First they got into their car and drove it off the end of a cliff but amazingly they both survived the crash totally uninjured.
Then they both attempted to hang themselves but again it didn't work.
Finally they went to the top of a 12 storey building and jumped off only to land on an adjacent roof, both suffering only a few broken bones.
After all this their parents finally gave their blessings and they got on with their lives happily.

14)
In Shasta County, California, USA, in 1999, police were baffled by the behaviour of three cousins who, in seperate incidents, either lay down in front of or drove directly at oncoming cars on higway 89.
The attempted suicides happened over three days and resulted in the death of 19 year old Lance Wilson and serious injuries to 20 year old Mark Wilson and 18 year old Lee Alex Gonzalez.

15)
In England, in 1996, Mr. Lee Bayliss hanged himself after his fiancee, Catherine Eardley, broke off the relationship because of the cost of the future dream wedding which included a romantic ceremony in Antigua.
Shortly after it was discovered that Lee's parents had already paid for the whole thing anyway! Oooops! HAHAHA!

16)
In England during the 19th century people who attempted suicide and failed were then hanged instead!

17)
The suicide rate for doctors is 60% higher than the average suicide rate for women.

18)
More than twice the number of psychologists commit suicide each year than do the psychiatric patients that are in care.

19)
The ancient Britons used to practice euthanasia by jumping off the edges of cliffs to their deaths.
If they were too elderly to jump then they would be helped a little by being pushed over the edge.