Morticom funny and unusual true stories of marriages

TRUE STORIES
MARRIAGE

(44 entries)

1)
In Iran, 105 year old Ismael Bahrami who was blind and deaf staggered into court with his two sons, aged 60 and 70, and told the officials that he wanted a divorce from his 100 year old wife because the magic in their marriage had gone.
The couple had been happily married since 1919 but Ismael was adamant that it was all over.
"She does not heed my command anymore," he told the judge, "so I have to get rid of her!"

2)
In Mobberley, Cheshire, England, 100 year old Dr. John Wilkinson began having an affair with his carer, Celia Nuttall. If that wasn't enough of a blow to his wife of 33 years, Marion, he packed his bags and moved in with his new lover to a £200,000 house on the other side of the road!

3)
In 1995 in France, a bride was arrested at her wedding reception when she stabbed her husband with the knife they had just used to cut their wedding cake.

4)
In Wisconsin, USA, in 1984, 103 year old Harry Stevens married his cousin 84 year old Thelma Lucas at their retirement home.

5)
In 1983 a man was sentenced to 34 years in prison after it was found he had notched up 104 bigamous marriages between 1949 and 1981 in 15 countries.
The man used so many aliases that authorities never found out who to charge him as.

6)
In Mexico City, Mexico, in 1969, a couple finally got married after being engaged for 67 years. They first got engaged in 1902 and were both 82 years old when they finally took the plunge.

7)
In Malaysia there is a man there who has been the Best man in over a thousand weddings.

8)
In England, in Anglo Saxon times, man could divorce his wife on the grounds that she was too passionate.

9)
On the island of Crete a bride suffered a nervous breakdown the night before her wedding when she discovered her future husband wearing her wedding dress and locked in a passionate embrace with the best man.

10)
In Uganda, Africa, in 1995, 100 year old Samuel Bukoro married 12 year old Nyamihanda.

11)
In Ireland, during the 1920's, Albert Muldoon, who was best man at his friend's wedding, accidentally got married to the bride when he stood on his left of the groom instead of on his right.
When the priest saw Muldoon in this position he addressed all the questions to Muldoon, who duly answered all of them.
The slip up was only discovered when the real groom demanded to sign the register as well. A second ceremony was swiftly arranged.

12)
In Prague, Czechoslovakia, housewife, Vera Czermak, was so distraught at her husband having an affair that she threw herself out of the window of her third floor apartment landing on her husband and killing him instantly.
She survived, however, after his body cushioned her fall.

13)
The country with largest percentage of female heads per household is Botswana.

14)
The women of one South Pacific tribe are obliged to marry at birth.

15)
In Fiji, New Guinea, the widows of the recently departed husbands would be strangled or buried alive so that they could join them in the afterlife.

16)
Nepalese wives show their love for their husbands by washing the man's feet and drinking the dirty water.

17)
In ancient Greece women used to count their ages from the day they were married rather than from the day they were born. It was thought that a woman's life only began once they were married.

18)
In Alaska eskimo men used to lend their wives to their guests to make them feel more comfortable.

19)
During the Victorian era ladies were told never to place books by male and female authors next to each other on the library shelves unless they were married.

20)
In China and Egypt widows used to have their tongues tattooed as a way of showing their grief to others.

21)
The country with highest marriage rate per head in the world is the Maldives.

22)
Women in Iceland don't change their surname when they get married.

23)
In England, during the 18th century, it was widely believed that if a wealthy woman married a man with debts his creditors would not be able to reclaim the money back from her as long as she was married in the nude.

24)
In France some regions still believe that if a bachelor steps on a cat's tail he won't find a wife for at least a year.

25)
The old phrase "Rule of thumb" is derived from the old English law which stated that a man could not beat his wife with anything wider than his thumb.

26)
In Jackson, Ohio, USA, Mr Ron Geel successfully divorced his wife on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour.
For the entire five years of their marriage Ron's wife would wake him up in the morning by throwing ice cold water at his face.

27)
In California, USA, in 2000, 32 year old Joshua Marete Mutuma was arrested after he was caught impersonating his own wife.
His recently estranged wife had put out a restraining order against him and Joshua was so upset that he went to the courthouse dressed as his wife, complete with a wig and a high falsetto voice and tried to con the law clerk into revoking the order.

28)
In South Africa, Dr Cedric Wayne, a marriage guidance counselor was charged with assault after he helped one of his clients beat up his wife during a counselling session.
After listening to the couple's marital problems for two hours Dr Wayne suddenly jumped from his chair and started attacking the wife, the husband joining in shortly later.

29)
In Petaluma, California, USA, in January 1999, Mrs Jenny Yoell, aged 28, was arrested for murder after she stabbed her husband in the back with a 13in knife.
Apparently Mr. Yoell walked into the house carrying two bouquets of flowers for Jenny who suddenly went berserk when she found out how much he had spent on the flowers and instantly attacked him.
Jenny later stated, "I made a huge mistake. I was crazy!"

30)
In Blackwater, Hampshire, England, in December 1998, 65 year old George Daines was having an argument with his wife, Eileen, about having his dogs put into a kennel.
George then saw red, picked up a mallet and smashed it over her head as she loaded the washing machine.
He then turned up the radio to drown out her screams.
He was given two and a half years in prison and later stated, "I never understood road rage, but all of a sudden, I know!"

31)
In Zambia, Africa, in 2001, Mr. Patrick Nyambe divorced his wife Lifuna after 8 years of marriage. The reason for the divorce was that his wife had locked him up in the bedroom at night to prevent him committing adultry with the servants.
Mr. Nyambe later stated, "I was not happy when she started locking the door to keep me in!"

32)
In Ohio, USA, in 1997, 69 year old Mr. Joseph Pileggi married the wrong woman! Pileggi insisted that when he married Carli Buchanan he had actually intended to marry Carli's 83 year old mother, Ducile.
It took him two years to notice that the marriage certificate had the wrong name on it!
Carli, however, stated that the marriage was consumated on the first night!

33)
In Brightingsea, Essex, England, in 1995, 28 year old Eric Lecomte won £400,000 on the National Lottery but refused to share any of the winnings with his wife and young son.
His wife then filed for divorce and as part of the settlement the judge handed over the couple's semi detached house to Lecomte's wife.
Lecomte then went berserk, drove to the house and ripped out the kitchen cupboards, tore up the floorboards, pulled the radiators off the walls and flooded the upstairs part of the house.
He was then ordered to pay his wife £20,000 compensation but the rich idiot decided to opt for a two year prison sentence instead.

34)
In Stanmore, Middlesex, England, in 1985, 58 year old Thomas Corlett became increasingly maddened by his wife's untidiness and over the course of his 26 year marriage had gradually taken over all of the household chores.
He finally lost control when his 63 year old wife, Erika, put mustard on the wrong side of his plate as he sat to eat his sausage and mash.
Corlett then rose from the chair and strangled his wife to death.
He later stated, "She knew I liked my newspaper on one side of my plate and my mustard on the other!"

35)
In Chelmsford, England, Stephen Berry divorced his wife, Carey, after she refused to have sex with him for five and a half years because it was a "Grave assault of her body!"
Carey, a devout Jehova's Witness, would also rub a banana into Stephen's face and force tea leaves down his throat.
Stephen was then forced to put a lock on his bedroom door but after she attacked him with a fork and put needles in the carpet he could take no more.
The Court Of Appeal upheld the divorce on the grounds of her "extraordinary and maybe incredible behaviour!"

36)
In Pennsylvania, USA, in 1992, William Woolf got totally drunk in a bar, went to his estranged wife's workplace, fired a gun at her boyfriend and then rammed a police car while trying to get away.
After the incident the divorced couple then reunited and launched two lawsuits - one against the bar for serving William too much alcohol and one against his wife's employees for not preventing her colleague from seducing her.
Both lawsuits were lost!

37)
In Leicestershire, England, Mrs June Cooper, who died after a long illness, was buried 300 miles away from her home in a paupers grave because her husband refused to pay for the funeral.
Donald Cooper also refused to attend his wife's funeral saying, "You can throw her in the river for all I care!"
Neighbours of Cooper described him as 'weird, nasty and foulmouthed'.
Cooper later stated, "I know I'm being a bastard, but I'm just being honest!"

38)
In Algiers, in 2001, ex-fireman Abdel Kader has just celebrated the fifth anniversary of his move into a palm tree. He had lived there since he became stressed with his job and his wife booted him out of their home. Abdel's tree house has since become a tourist attraction and he relies solely on donations from passers-by for income.

39)
In Brazil, in the late 1990's, five women were charged with severing their partners penis's in one year alone!
A 17 year old cut off her husband's penis with a knife, forcing him to put it in an ice bucket.
Another woman cut off her husband's penis and flushed it down the toilet!
A 61 year old woman partially severed her husband's penis after finding out he was screwing someone else and yet another woman ripped off her husband's cock with her bare hands! OUCH!

40)
In Devon, England, teacher Alan Harrison and Susan Holmes went on only two dates together before Alan popped the question and asked Susan to marry him.
Susan accepted but on the conditon that he was to hand over two cheques worth a total of £11,000 to prove that his love was real.
Alan was assured that the cheques would never be cashed and gave them to her.
After a while Susan had withdrawn all of his life savings and shortly after abandoned him.
Later when she was confronted by Alan she claimed that she had never met him before in her life!

41)
In England, Mike Nolan decided to take his wife Tracy and children on a £1,700 holiday to Turkey so that he could rekindle his marriage.
Unfortunately for him Tracy fell for the charms of a Jordanian shop keeper named Gasam Abu, who ran a boutique next door to their apartment, after he began following her on the beach.
Tracy abandoned Mike and the kids and ran off with the arab weasel.
Mike later said, "I only wish we'd gone to Skegness instead!"

42)
In Texas, USA, in 1996, Brian Wiseman came out of the closet and announced to everyone, including his fiancee, Tracy Williams, that he was gay. He then walked out and was never seen again.
Unfortunately for Tracy not only had she lost her lover but she had to pay for the upcoming wedding, the house and all of the furniture, a total of $50,000.
Brian was never traced again and Tracy had to work two jobs to pay off her debts!

43)
After Sidney and Beatrice Webb were married they spent the entire time of their honeymoon in Dublin studying Trade Unions.

44)
When Mrs Martin van Butchell died her will stated that all of her huge fortune had to be passed directly to a distant relative "The moment I am dead and buried."
To get around this Mr. van Butchell totally refused to bury her.
He had her body embalmed, dressed in finery and displayed to the public every weekday in the drawing room of his house.