Morticom hilarious and obscene lesbian jokes


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LESBIANS

(34 gags)

1)
What do lesbians need to get married?
A Licker license!

2)
What do lesbians cook for dinner?
They don't cook, they just eat out!

3)
What do lesbians do after they have an argument?
They go home and lick each others wounds!

4)
What do two lesbian lovers do when they are both menstruating?
They finger paint!

5)
What did one lesbian say to the other?
Your face or mine?

6)
What do you call a thick fingered lesbian?
Well hung!

7)
What is the leading cause of death among lesbians?
Hairballs!

8)
What do you call a lesbian Eskimo?
A Klondike!

9)
What's the definition of Frenzy?
Two blind lesbians walking through a fish market!

10)
What's the new politically correct name for a lesbian?
A Vagitarian!

11)
In order to save on holiday costs, two secretaries are rooming together. On the first night Jill turns to her friend, puts her hand on her shoulder and says, "There is something I have been meaning to tell you about myself. I will be frank. I am a lesbian."
"That's OK," replied the other girl, "I will be Frank tomorrow night, I'm a lesbian too!"

12)
What's the difference between a lesbian finger fucking a blonde and a Harley Davidson at the side of the road?
One is a bike in the ditch.......!

13)
Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
She kept on having affairs with men!

14)
What did one lesbian frog say to the other?
"You know, we do taste like chicken!"

15)
What's the Latin name for a lesbian?
Strapadictomy!

16)
Did you hear about the twin sisters who were both born lesbian?
They Lick a like!

17)
Did you hear about the lesbian who took too much Viagra?
She couldn't get her tongue back into her mouth for over a week!

18)
Why are lesbians fatter than straight women?
Because they are always eating out!

19)
What do you call 25 lesbians stacked on top of each other?
A block of flaps!

20)
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A Lickalotopuss!

21)
What do you call two lesbians paddling a canoe down the river?
Fur traders!

22)
What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
"I will see you again next month!"

23)
Two lesbians were standing at the bar drinking when another girl waved across the bar.
"Who is that chick?" the first lesbian asked, "I would sure like to get her legs spread on my bed!"
"No you wouldn't!" replied the other lesbian, "I have heard that she is hung like a doughnut!"

24)
A lesbian went to the gynaecologist one day, and as the doctor is examining her, he remarked, "My, aren't we clean today."
"Yeah," replied the lesbian, "I have a woman who comes in twice a week!"

25)
What do you call a fight between two Chinese lesbians?
A Tong war!

26)
How do you know when you are in a real lesbian bar?
Not even the pool table has balls!

27)
How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb?
19! One to change the lightbulb and 18 to make a documentary about it!

28)
Why were lesbians invented?
So that feminists wouldn't breed!

29)
How many screws are there in a lesbians coffin?
None, Its all tongue and groove!

30)
What do you call a closet full of lesbians?
A Licker cabinet!

31)
What do you call 100 heavily armed lesbians?
Militia Etheridge!

32)
What's the difference between a lesbian and a Ritz?
One is a snack cracker.................!

33)
What do you call a Pakistani lesbian?
Fadjeeta!

34)
What do Polish lesbians use for a lubricant?
Tartar sauce!