Morticom hilarious and obscene arab jokes


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ARAB JOKES

(28 gags)

1)
What's the difference between American and Iraqi pilots?
American pilots break ground and fly into the wind!

2)
What should Iraq get for it's air defence system?
A refund!

3)
Have you seen the new Iraqi Flag?
A white star on a white background!

4)
Why does the Iraqi navy have glass bottomed boats?
So that they can see their Navy!

5)
What do you get if you put 30 Iraqi women in a bomb shelter?
A full set of teeth!

6)
Have you heard of the new Iraqi boy band?
No kids on the block!

7)
Why don't arabs take their wives to soccer games?
Because they jump the fence and eat the grass!

8)
What's the difference between an Arab an ET?
ET went home!

9)
What's 8 feet long and is wrapped around a lump of shit?
A turban!

10)
What's the difference between a catfish and an Arab woman?
One's got whiskers and smells. The other is a fish!

11)
How do you get an Arab woman pregnant?
Cum all over her feet and let the flies do the rest!

12)
An Arab buys a camel and he proudly decides to ride it around his local pub carpark, causing a bit of a stir with the local drinkers.
"Nice camel mate," One of the drinkers commented, "Is it male or female?"
"It's female!" said the Arab.
"How can you tell?" said the drinker.
"Well," the Arab explained, "on the way here today, at least twenty people yelled out,'Hey, Look at the dirty, smelly cunt on that camel!"

13)
A guy walked up to an Arab woman and said, "Excuse me, but can I smell your cunt?"
"Most certainly not!" said the Arab lady.
"Oh,! said the guy, "It must be your feet then!"

14)
An Arab goes to the doctor. He complains that his left leg has turned white, and wanted to know if it was dangerous. The doctor examined the limb, and after fingering his beard for a minute, turns around and leaves the room.
Ten minutes later the doctor returns, holding a large jar, and giving it to the Arab he says, "Drink this up, and I am certain that your problem will be gone!"
So the Arab gulps down the medicine, and when he has drank it all he looks at his leg and it immediately changes back to its natural brown colour.
"God," he says, "That medicine tasted like shit!"
"That's because it WAS shit," said the doctor, "You were off by a couple of pints!"

15)
Why did the Arab trade his wife for an outhouse?
Because the hole was smaller and the smell was better!

16)
What do you call an Arab roofing contractor?
Shiite on a shingle!

17)
How many Afghans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
It doesn't matter. The electricity has been off for at least a year anyway!

18)
Why do all Afghans carry a piece of sandpaper?
Because they need a map.

19)
What's the best Afghani job?
Foreign Ambassador!

20)
How do you get 30 Iraqis into a telephone box?
Tell them it isn't theirs!

21)
What do Hiroshima, Nagasaki and Kabul have in common?
The USA have bombed the shit out of all of them!

22)
How do you get 200 Afghans out of a bingo hall?
Shout "B-52"

23)
Did you know that Iraqi fighter pilots are the easiest to train in the world?
You only have to teach them to take off!

24)
How do you play Iraqi bingo?
B-52...F-16...B-2....

25)
What is Afghanistan's national bird?
Duck!

26)
After two days in the desert, Abdul's camel was about to collapse.
"Saddam," Abdul ordered, "bring her over here to the watering hole!"
Saddam brought the camel to the watering hole, but no matter what they did, the camel would not drink. Knowing that the camel would die if it did not drink, Abdul came up with an idea. "We will have to force the camel drink," Abdul explained, "Saddam, when I hold the camels head under the water, you start sucking through it's arsehole, and it will be forced to drink!"
Knowing they would die if the camel didn't drink, Saddam went to the rear of the camel. As Abdul stuck the camel's head under the water, Saddam began sucking on the camel's arsehole. After a couple of minutes sucking on the arsehole, Saddam shouted to Abdul, "Lift her head a little, she's sucking mud!"

27)
What do Israeli soldiers do when they get bored?
They go over to the West Bank and the Gaza Strip and get stoned!

28)
A Palestinian gentleman was taking a walk on the West Bank when he was brutally beaten by a gang of young Israeli thugs. Deciding to take matters into his own hands, he bought a huge German Shepherd trained to kill on command and went out to seek revenge.
It didn't take him long to see the perfect victim: a little old Jewish man walking a little dog that resembled a dachshund.
The Palestinian let go of his ferocious dog, but to his astonishment he saw the little dog pin his dog down to the ground and swallow it full, all in thirty seconds.
"What kind of dog is that?" asked the Palestinian.
"Well, before we had his nose fixed he used to be an alligator!" said the old man.



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