Morticom Shop
Enter the weirdest, funniest and most outrageous Shop Here! If You DARE!

HALFINCH AND WANKMAG'S
CELEBRITY HEADS ON STAKES PAGE

SIMON COWELL

Simon Cowell. Mmmmm. Definitely a wanker as we all know.
This is the man who is responsible for lowering an entire generation's taste in music and
is famous for his self proclaimed talent of spotting superstars.
This guy has more chins than the Hong Kong telephone directory. He has so much blubber
under his jaw that he could solely save the whales for a few hundred years.
This man actually thinks that he is the god of the music world but let's be honest, how anyone
can take a guy who has the best developed man-boobs in the history of music serious is beyond us.
Thank you Simon for making Britain the laughing stock of the music world.
By the way we tried to rip out his cheesy grin with a fish hook but we just could not do it.
Also we could not crush his head because the masses of styling gel and hair dye
were just too much for the sledgehammers to deal with.

Thank you for listening and goodnight

Halfinch and Wankmag

                    
Artwork by J.C.Galliano copyright April 2004